


You Can't Wake up, This Is Not a Dream

by anidear



Series: Batman Bingo 2020 [2]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, Batman and Robin (Comics), Nightwing (Comics), Red Hood and the Outlaws (Comics)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon What Canon, Damian Wayne is Robin, Dick Grayson Needs a Hug, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, I do not accept what DC is doing to Damian, M/M, Protective Damian Wayne, Protective Jason Todd
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-29
Updated: 2020-08-29
Packaged: 2021-03-06 14:54:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,457
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26150713
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anidear/pseuds/anidear
Summary: Damian decides it's time to move on from Robin, but he has a requirement that takes Dick and Bruce by surprise.
Relationships: Bruce Wayne & Damian Wayne, Dick Grayson & Bruce Wayne, Dick Grayson & Damian Wayne, Dick Grayson/Jason Todd, Jason Todd & Damian Wayne
Series: Batman Bingo 2020 [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1897684
Comments: 10
Kudos: 255





	You Can't Wake up, This Is Not a Dream

**Author's Note:**

> I started writing this months ago. Long before I knew what DC had planned for Damian. I decided to finish it quickly because I was very not okay with the way they handled the situation.

“No Father, I insist.” Dick watched Damian’s bright green eyes look from Bruce to Dick and then back. And he could tell his brother meant what he was saying, but even Dick could see it was illogical.

Sighing, Dick leaned back against the table of the batcomputer and crossed his arms over his chest. “Dames, Batman needs Robin. We’ve all seen what happens when he doesn’t have one,” Dick tried to reason with his brother. Sure, there had been a time when Dick would have expected Batman’s sidekick to bear a different name, but he had gotten over that (mostly) a long time ago.

“That is not true, Richard. He simply needs his partner. I am sure that spot can easily be filled, but it should _not_ be with another Robin.”

“And what would you have me do then, Damian?” Bruce spoke up for the first time since agreeing that Damian should start moving away from his role as Robin. At the age of 18, it was time he became his own hero. The youngest had come to Bruce and Dick while they talked about some gear Dick had come to borrow and asked them what they had thought about him hanging up the mantle. Dick had enthusiastically agreed and congratulated his brother. Bruce had been much calmer and subdue but had also thought it a good idea. But when Dick mentioned having to find a new Robin, Damian had outright said no.

Damian shrugged a shoulder. “Move on,” he said as if it were the simplest thing in the world.

“Just like that?” Damian’s silence at Bruce’s question spoke volumes. But none of this explained why Damian thought Robin needed to retire with him. And Dick could tell he was holding something back, but whether it was because of Bruce’s presence or Dick’s, the older brother couldn’t quite tell.

And though Dick wanted answers, he heaved a sigh of relief when his phone rang and Jason’s name lit up his screen. 

“Jay.”

_“I got the location for tonight’s drop. You headed back yet?”_

“Not yet, got a little sidetracked. I have the gear and I’ll be heading out soon.” He heard Jason mumble something and Dick had a feeling he didn’t want to know what the younger man had said. “Yeah yeah, I’ll grab food on my way back.”

_“You better. Let me know when you leave.”_

Dick gave an affirmative before ending the call. “Look, Jay and I have an important op tonight that I need to get back to. Call me tomorrow Dames. We can talk some more.” Damian nodded and Dick reached over to give his brother a hug before he clapped a hand to Bruce’s shoulder. “Thanks for the gear, Old Man. I’ll send the reports to you in a few days.”

“Be safe,” came the all too familiar grunt from Bruce as Dick walked away. Turning to walk backwards toward his car, Dick smiled brightly and held his arms open.

“Aren’t I always?”

“No, you’re not, Grayson!” Damian’s face looked annoyed, but Dick just laughed before sliding into his car.

The drive back to Bludhaven was plagued with thoughts about what Damian had said. And he still couldn’t figure out why his brother wanted Robin to be retired. He just couldn’t find any reason. When Dick had asked him to take up the cape, Damian had been thrilled. A little overconfident and stubborn, but he had still been ready to fight. They all had. So why wouldn’t Damian want someone else to have that same emotion? It just didn’t make sense.

But he supposed he wouldn’t figure it out until Damian felt he should know. So, he dropped the line of thought and focused on the tasks at hand. A brief stop at a local Thai place to get the order he told Jason to place distracted him enough that he stopped thinking about the situation long enough to get back to the apartment he and Jason shared. 

“Jay?” He called out as he pushed open the door, dropping his keys in the bowl near the door and letting the duffle bag he had placed the gear he had borrowed from Bruce drop to the floor next to the small table.

“Finally, I’m fucking starving.” Dick snorted and made his way into the kitchen where he found Jason grabbing plates and utensils. “Where’s the stuff?”

Dick jerked his head toward the front door as he placed the two bags of food onto the counter and leaned over to press a kiss to the corner of Jason’s mouth. It earned him a pleased rumble that brought a smile to Dick’s face. “Over by the door. Leave it there. We can look it over later.” Jason looked like he wanted to argue, but after a glance at Dick’s face he let it drop.

“You okay?”

“Yeah, I’m good,” Dick told him, turning his focus on unbagging the food but Jason’s hand slipping around his waist and the resting his chin on Dick’s shoulder pulled his attention.

“What happened?”

Sighing, Dick stopped what he was doing and leaned back into Jason. “Dames is going to step down from Robin, be his own hero.” And though he couldn’t see his face, he knew that Jason would look confused.

“That’s a good thing. Kid is getting too old to be a sidekick. That can’t be what’s upsetting you.”

“I’m not upset,” Dick told him, feeling Jason tense to argue. “I’m not. I’m curious. He told B and me he doesn’t want anyone else to take up the Robin mantle after him. He didn’t seem like he wanted to get into the reason why with both of us there. But I don’t know if he didn’t want me to know or if it was Bruce he didn’t want to know.”

“Bruce.”

Turning to look at Jason, Dick raised a brow. “That’s an awfully certain answer awfully quick.”

Jason pulled back and shrugged a shoulder. “I might know why he feels that way. He and I had a talk a few weeks ago and I think he took something I said to heart.” Dick’s eyes narrowed slightly, but he remained silent to see if Jason would say more. “Whether or not you’re willing to admit it to anyone other than me or the brat, that kid thinks of you as his dad. B might be ‘Father’ or whatever, but you are his Dad.”

Dick was aware of what everyone thought of his and Damian’s relationship. Even if the pair had never discussed it. “But that’s not what this is about.”

“No, it’s not. But because of how he feels, he takes things involving you and your emotions seriously.” And yeah, Dick knew that. “I said a lot of the issues between you and B would never be resolved so long as someone else was running around wearing the colors of the Flying Grayson’s while responding to the name your mother used to call you…”

“Jay, you didn’t,” Dick sighed, closing his eyes. 

“Look, I know you told me that in the dark because you didn’t want to hurt me but my emotions involving those years as Robin are buried under so much shit, I hardly remember our issues from then. But I know you well enough to know that so long as Robin flies, your wound will never heal.”

That hushed conversation in the darkness of their bedroom, his head resting on Jason’s chest so he could listen to the strong beat of his heart had been hard. And Dick couldn’t even remember how it had come about, but he didn’t regret telling Jason exactly why he had been so angry when Bruce had given Jason the mantle without telling Dick first. Bruce, who had known where the colors and the name had come from, hadn’t even hesitated. And when Dick had told his guardian that, he had been brushed aside and told it was bigger than Dick. 

And that had _hurt_.

He was Robin, the others took on the persona but Dick. Was. Robin. 

“I’m not going to apologize for telling him.” And Dick would never have expected that anyway. It wasn’t like he had told Jason it was a secret and to keep it that way. “And I won’t apologize for putting your emotional wellbeing before B’s crusade. You will always win.” Dick knew that.

“I wish you wouldn’t have put that on his shoulders. Out of everyone, it shouldn’t have been his,” he says, sighing softly as he leans back against the counter.

“I know, Goldie, but I also had a feeling today’s chat would be coming soon. And sue me for not wanting to see you deal with another person becoming Robin.” Jason sounded defensive, but the look on his face was too apologetic for that. 

Rubbing at his forehead, Dick sighed again and shook his head. “It doesn’t matter right now. Let’s just eat and then get tonight figured out. I told Damian to call me tomorrow, so I can talk to him about it then.” He watched Jason watch him for a moment before nodding and they both turned back to dealing with the food.

**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**

“You got a visitor, Dickhead!” Dick heard Jason call out. He hadn’t bothered to get out of their bed yet after last night’s late and painful mission. He was still feeling the pain meds he had caved and taken after the knife wound to his leg had been stitched up. “Don’t you dare get out of that fucking bed,” Jason’s voice sounded, from the doorway this time.

“I don’t think I could, even if I wanted to,” Dick admitted, voice rough from the sleep he had been pulled from.

Behind Jason’s imposing figure, Dick could make out the shape of his youngest brother. “Grayson, Todd told me what happened last night. How are you feeling?” Dick shrugged a shoulder and rubbed at his face before attempting to push himself up to sit against the headboard of the bed.

“Stop it, you idiot. You’ll tear your stitches,” Jason reprimanded him softly, rushing over to help Dick get in the position he wanted. Once there were no less than four pillows behind him and he swore he wasn’t in any significant amount of pain, Jason moved away and looked at Damian. The younger hadn’t come more than a few steps into the room, watching his older brother. “I’m going to get you some food so you can take some more pills, Boy Idiot. Want some coffee or tea, Dames?”

“Tea would be acceptable,” Damian answered as he shifted further into the room and waited for Jason to leave. Dick watched Damian take in the state of the room and Dick found himself eternally glad for Jason’s neat freak nature that had forced him into already cleaning up the bloody mess that had been his uniform and the stuff they had used to patch up his leg in the early hours of the morning.

“Take a seat, Dami,” Dick said gently, patting the spot next to him. He chuckled when Damian eyed Jason’s spot distastefully before settling on the edge near Dick’s injured leg. “I thought you were going to call? Why did you drive all the way out here?”

“You’re injured, you fool.”

“And that means I can’t talk on the phone?” Dick teased, watching Damian roll his eyes in annoyance.

“Of course not. But I wanted to be sure Todd was taking adequate care of you.” Dick ‘oh-ed’ and nodded his head. “Things seem to be up to par,” he admitted, and Dick hummed. “Todd told me he told you what he and I spoke of.”

“He did. And I’m sorry he put that on you, Dames. I didn’t want any of you to know something that is beyond fixing.” Dick watched Damian stare at his lap, hands folded properly in his lap as he sat there motionless. “Talk to me kid.”

That caught Damian’s attention and the scoff at the nickname brought a warmth to Dick’s chest.

“I am not a child, Grayson.”

“No, but you’re still my baby brother and something is bugging you.”

Without looking at Dick, Damian shrugged his shoulders and Dick couldn’t help but marvel at how much the other man had changed in the eight years he had been in the family. From petulant murder brat to a mature and emotional man. It was more than his father could say.

“Dames?” Dick prompted, trying to get the other man to tell him what he was thinking.

“You gave me Robin.” Damian finally looked over at Dick and the elder wasn’t sure what the look on his face meant so he remained silent and nodded. “Of all your successors, I am the only one you chose.”

“You are my progeny, yes.”

“No, not like that,” Damian waved a hand in exasperation. “Robin was stolen from you over and over. Your own name, your own identity. It was ripped from you and given to Todd, to Drake, to Brown without your consent.” Again, Dick nodded, seeing where this was going. “But you took it back from Drake and you gave it to me when you could have given me something else. Why did you do that?”

And wow if that wasn’t a loaded question. And one that Dick wasn’t sure he could answer. It hadn’t even occurred to him to take Robin and retire it completely. He hadn’t ever considered that. To him, it was too late to right that particular wrong of his youth.

“It wouldn’t have healed that wound, Dames. The damage was done and sometimes it’s just not worth it.”

But Damian was shaking his head. “And me forcing Father to retire Robin won’t make a difference either?”

“Bruce and I will never bridge that particular gap. If that is why you are doing this, don’t. I forgave him a long time ago, but I’ll never be able to forget. I am in love with one of the reasons I’ll never be able to forget,” Dick laughed, waving a hand in the general direction of the kitchen where he knew Jason was.

“Why must you do that?” Dick raised an eyebrow. “Why do you have to be so flippant about your own emotions when you are anything _but_ with everyone else’s?”

“It’s easier that way, Damian,” Dick admitted with a sigh. It was easier to ignore the things he felt when it came to the past or the pain he had suffered over the years. He knew if he spent too much time lingering on those thoughts and emotions, he would never dig himself back out of that hole. He would be crushed under the weight of the things he had never bothered to deal with. Mirage, Catalina, Blockbuster, his parents, and so many other things. So much grief and loss, so much pain. It would bury him, and he would never get up again. “In order for me to survive, this is what I have to do.”

Damian watched him and Dick waited, hoping he wouldn’t do what Dick had done to him so many times in the past and force him to talk about it. Instead, Dick found himself with his arms full of his baby brother for an extremely rare Damian-initiated hug. Letting his eyes close for a moment, he let himself relax into the hug because it felt good. He was always an affectionate person, but it was so rare people returned that affection. Often, he was basically forcing it on others. The moments when people forced it on him? He relished them.

Though he expected Damian to pull away after a minute, Dick found himself held longer than he would have ever thought. “You’re emotions are valid. Your pain is just as important as the rest of ours. **Why can’t you see that?** ” The words were spoken into his shoulder, muffled by muscle and the material of Dick’s shirt. “I stand by what I told Father,” Damian whispered into Dick’s shoulder and Dick hummed his question. “Robin should retire.” He pulled back and green eyes met sapphire, burning hot with determination. “There are plenty of options for partners for Batman. And Father is not losing Robin the way he lost him with Todd.”

Dick considered his words, leaning further into the pile of pillows behind him as Damian resumed his previous position. Jason chose that moment to come into the room with a plate of food and two mugs in hand. One look at his face told Dick he had heard the last bit of the conversation.

Smiling softly at Jason, Dick took the plate and the mug and watched Jason hand the other mug to Damian. He chuckled at the sight of the grilled cheese and the pain pills. “Thanks, Jay,” he tilted his head, hinting for Jason to give him a kiss. A request that was quickly fulfilled before the man leaned against the wall near the bed, facing the two brothers on the bed. “Got something to say?”

“I might, but my opinion doesn’t really matter on this one.”

“Neither does mine,” Dick said, more to Damian than to Jason. At Damian’s frown, Dick shrugged a shoulder. “I’m not Robin anymore, Dames. It’s is yours and no one else’s. If you want it to retire, then retire it. I appreciate the sentiment behind it, and I would be _so incredibly proud_ to have the name retire under you, but it is _your_ decision.” Dick watched Damian look over to Jason and from the corner of his vision he could see Jason nod, confirming that what Dick was saying was true.

“Then I suppose all that’s left is to figure out who I am to be now.”

And Dick didn’t envy Damian on that front. It had been difficult to come up with Nightwing. And he had the help of Clark on that one.

“What do you want, Damian? Do you want to remain in Gotham, or do you want to find your own place?” Dick took a bite of his sandwich to keep himself from questioning Jason, but it didn’t hide the frown and question in his eyes when he looked at his boyfriend. “We could always use help here in the ‘Haven.”

That seemed to have caught Damian’s attention and Dick continued to eat while the youngest of them worked things through in his mind. Once he had consumed enough of the sandwich, Dick took the pills Jason had given him before setting the mug of tea down on the bedside table.

“You’re always welcome here, Dames. And if that’s something you think you might be interested in, then perhaps you should make a visit to Clark’s and have him tell you the legend he told me when I was in your position.” Though his own position had been forced upon him and not quite by choice the way it will be for Damian.

“The legend of Nightwing and Flamebird? Yes, Jon told me that years ago,” Damian waved a hand in dismissal. “He was so haughty about knowing how you came to be Nightwing because Clark is so proud of his influence on you.”

Jason snorted out a laugh and Dick simply raised an eyebrow at his youngest brother.

“I wouldn’t let your father know about that, if I were you,” Dick chuckled. While Bruce had gotten much better in relation to Clark over the years, he still held an edge of mistrust with the Kryptonian. It wasn’t personal, it was just Bruce being the paranoid bastard he always was. Dick was convinced if he hadn’t raised all of his Robins, he never would have trusted them. Steph was proof of that. They had been like oil and water.

“I think I shall meditate on the subject for a while and see what conclusion I come to.” Dick leaned forward and placed a hand on his brother’s upper arm, squeezing lightly.

“We will help however we can, you know that. But don’t keep Bruce in the dark if you do plan on leaving Gotham. He doesn’t handle change well. We all know that.” Dick reminded Damian, who nodded with a deep frown.

Jason clapped his hands together before moving forward to ruffle Damian’s perfectly coifed hair. “Congrats Demon Brat, you’re on your way to being a real man.”

“Fuck off, Todd,” Damian growled, swatting Jason’s hand away as Dick leaned back and laughed at the pair. Whatever his younger brother decided, Dick knew it would be the right decision for him. And he couldn’t help but be proud of the man he had become in the years since he had joined the family as a petulant and snotty ten year old.


End file.
